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what would you rather have [ New Topic]
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posted by 2hot2handle 116 days ago
i can say i did the early thing and the late thing and so far both work out very well for me :)

Ex Freak on a Leash & Killer Tomato Soup, sorry but had to change as was being chased down by the spelling bee masterchampionships
The Designer
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posted by HKBloke 116 days ago
good for you. I just know that the idea of being in my late 50's and still having kids at secondary school would make me consider suicide.


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posted by Paps of Jura 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by HKBloke
i would say that even late 30's is a bit dodgy. Having kids at 40 means that you need to keep having a good income until you are 62ish - which is not easy - unless you have the zillions in the bank already of course or you are self employed.


Well not everyone has the same standards as you... your kind of saying there that you aim to support your kids into their mid 20's if you have them at 30??

Also depends on how you plan to educate your kids and the sort of start in life you plan to give them.. for example buying them their first car/deposit on a house etc... everyone has a different idea of what they will give to their kids and it's seems that you have a plan to give them everyything you can

Besides I really don't believe a lot of people are ready to have kids until in their 30's

Dib Dob nib knob
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posted by smog 116 days ago (edited 116 days ago)
Personally I don't understand doing the high stress, high pay thing for your whole life. I did that for 6 years in conjunction with expat contracts while single with the result that I was fortunate enough to put a little money away (not zillions - but enough to be able to cope with quite a few rainy days). But even if I had been married, kids, and much higher requirements on my finances I don't think I could have gone on living that lifestyle for much longer - the effect on my health of too much flying, too many nights with not enough sleep, too many business dinners, not enough exercise and so on was pretty nasty.

Now I am doubly fortunate to have something approaching the option c): a very low stress work environment but still with a reasonable amount of money (net cash each month of perhaps 70% of what I was getting 8 years ago). If I keep doing what I am doing until I am 50 (another 5 years) then I will certainly have enough in the bank (unless my investing goes horribly wrong) to be able to retire comfortably.

So overall I reckon the answer is go for the high money, high stress while your body is still young enough to take it (which means late 20s to late 30s), make sure you put a bit aside, and then look for some compromise.

But on kids later in life I am really not sure. If we do it then I would be in my mid-60s before they leave home. Although I'm actually fitter now than I have been for 20 years, I'm not sure I can be confident of still being up to kids in 20 years time.

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The Designer
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posted by HKBloke 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by Paps of Jura
quote:
Originally posted by HKBloke
i would say that even late 30's is a bit dodgy. Having kids at 40 means that you need to keep having a good income until you are 62ish - which is not easy - unless you have the zillions in the bank already of course or you are self employed.


Well not everyone has the same standards as you... your kind of saying there that you aim to support your kids into their mid 20's if you have them at 30??

Also depends on how you plan to educate your kids and the sort of start in life you plan to give them.. for example buying them their first car/deposit on a house etc... everyone has a different idea of what they will give to their kids and it's seems that you have a plan to give them everyything you can

Besides I really don't believe a lot of people are ready to have kids until in their 30's
Just simple maths. Kids need funding in one form or another for 22 years assuming they go to university which i think is a normal standard these days.


I think the cost of raising a child is around 200k GBP these days - on the assumption they attend free state school (if not then double it). At the age of (say) 45 I would much rather have that that cost behind me than in front of me.



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posted by smog 116 days ago
But if, for the sake of argument, you bust a gut for a few years in your 20s to 30s you may well be able to put away several hundred thousand pounds. So that expenditure needn't look too daunting.

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Senior Member
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posted by Paps of Jura 116 days ago
And plus do we really need to pay for our kids when they go to Uni.. I know I worked and paid my own way through... Is there no student grants and loans anymore ?

Dib Dob nib knob
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posted by 2hot2handle 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by HKBloke
good for you. I just know that the idea of being in my late 50's and still having kids at secondary school would make me consider suicide.


yes understand, hyence i do not send them to ESF

Ex Freak on a Leash & Killer Tomato Soup, sorry but had to change as was being chased down by the spelling bee masterchampionships
Senior Member
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posted by Juno Watt 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by Paps of Jura
And plus do we really need to pay for our kids when they go to Uni.. I know I worked and paid my own way through...

You're the one who mentioned giving them cars and houses.


The Designer
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posted by HKBloke 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by smog
But if, for the sake of argument, you bust a gut for a few years in your 20s to 30s you may well be able to put away several hundred thousand pounds. So that expenditure needn't look too daunting.
Absolutely correct and i'm sure are lots of people like that - but not all.


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posted by HKBloke 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by Paps of Jura
And plus do we really need to pay for our kids when they go to Uni.. I know I worked and paid my own way through... Is there no student grants and loans anymore ?
no grants just loans. I don't intend to fully fund my kids as i think they SHOULD leave uni with an incentive to get a good job - however i don't really want my kids to start off on their career with a 30,000 gbp debt hanging over them.


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posted by Juno Watt 116 days ago
Looks like I missed my chance in my 20s and 30s. I won't be obscenely wealthy until I'm at least 40. But by then, will I be too old to enjoy it??


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posted by Paps of Jura 116 days ago (edited 116 days ago)
quote:
Originally posted by Juno Watt
quote:
Originally posted by Paps of Jura
And plus do we really need to pay for our kids when they go to Uni.. I know I worked and paid my own way through...

You're the one who mentioned giving them cars and houses.


Not talking about what I'm gonna give my kids.. it just seems the norm in this town and this day and age that kids get everything before they reach 20

Dib Dob nib knob
Regular Member
2898 Posts
posted by bunthorne 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by Paps of JuraNot talking about what I'm gonna give my kids.. it just seems the norm in this town and this day and age that kids get everything before they reach 20


Not all, only the folks you rub shoulders with.


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posted by 2hot2handle 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by Paps of Jura
quote:
Originally posted by Juno Watt
quote:
Originally posted by Paps of Jura
And plus do we really need to pay for our kids when they go to Uni.. I know I worked and paid my own way through...

You're the one who mentioned giving them cars and houses.


Not talking about what I'm gonna give my kids.. it just seems the norm in this town and this day and age that kids get everything before they reach 20


i dont have a single kid's parents under my friends who gave their kid on or before their 20's or after that a car and a house.

stop being rediculous and open your eyes. ....course there are always rediculously rich peeps, who cares? as said before, do you think they are anyt happier?

Ex Freak on a Leash & Killer Tomato Soup, sorry but had to change as was being chased down by the spelling bee masterchampionships
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posted by Paps of Jura 116 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by bunthorne
quote:
Originally posted by Paps of JuraNot talking about what I'm gonna give my kids.. it just seems the norm in this town and this day and age that kids get everything before they reach 20


Not all, only the folks you rub shoulders with.


Oh believe me it's the complete opposite and I'm not saying its the right thing.. far from it

My kids will be doing paper rounds and buying their own s**t

Dib Dob nib knob
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posted by EmilyBronte 115 days ago
quote:
Originally posted by smog
But if, for the sake of argument, you bust a gut for a few years in your 20s to 30s you may well be able to put away several hundred thousand pounds. So that expenditure needn't look too daunting.


Well said- obvious factor here being the earning capacity differences between men and women.

Bloke- as a woman with nearly two kids, I personally found it more than worthwhile to work for 18+ years before taking leave. This means even if I choose to have 1 or 2 years out, theres not much can knock me out of the job market as long as I keep my network in place. Very very different story for the guy who goes back to work the day after the birth (although i don't envy the stress level on any man who feels he has the added pressure of supporting a family to a certain standard if the wife wants to stay home. ) Also, kids in HK cost a bleeding fortune.


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posted by Zebedee 115 days ago
Here's my tuppence, as I believe this is totally an age thing:

- 20's: Usually MOST are just interested in the high income and jet-set life-style thing, but you spend spend spend.
- 30's: Usually this is a time for desire to increase earning, but to preserve much more of what you earn.
- 40's: Good age to earn high income, but at the expense of life-style, can handle stress and better with investment.
- 50's: About preserving Capital you've built up in your 30's & 40's, adding to it, and maximising return.

So getting back to original question (if I were starting out again), I would encourage kids to seek high income high stress at early age, but in later years maybe consider accepting less stressful job, but be clever about investment and maximising returns on capital saved.

Whatever...
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posted by The Cerne Abbas Giant 115 days ago
Well articulated Zeb.

Watchu talkin' about Willis?
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posted by HKBloke 115 days ago
But it's not jusdt an age thing is it which is why i raised the kid issue.

Take a bloke that has 2 kids in his late 30's (say). When he is in his 50's he will still be looking at having to dosh out $$$$ each month to fund them.

So when making any decision you have to consider a) if you want kids and b) when you plan to have them.



 
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