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some funnies
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| posted by kamote 1040 days ago |
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A Huey Cobra was practicing auto-rotations during a night military training exercise when it landed on its tail rotor, separating the tail boom. It landed on its skids, and 360'd down the runway in a sea of sparks. As it passed the tower, the operator asked, "Sir, do you need assistance?" The pilot answered, "I don't know, Tower. We aren't done crashing yet!"
Two women stood at the diner's register while the young cashier swiped their credit card. She looked puzzled and then called out, "Mr. Allen? What do I do if it says 'rejected'?" As the women's faces reddened and nearby customers turned to gawk, Mr. Allen calmly walked out from the kitchen. "Well," he answered, "the first thing you do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who might have been thinking about leaving you a tip."
The place to be happy is HERE and the time to be happy is NOW.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
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| Regular Member |
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| 3477 Posts |
| in |
| China |
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| posted by kamote 1040 days ago |
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"I'm gonna get a divorce, Benn. My wife hasn't spoken with me in months!"
Benn considered this news before replying, "Are you sure, Jack? Women like that are hard to find!"
The place to be happy is HERE and the time to be happy is NOW.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
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| Regular Member |
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| 3477 Posts |
| in |
| China |
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| posted by kamote 1040 days ago |
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"Mom! I think I've met the girl of my dreams. What do I do?"
His mother replied, "Why not send her flowers and invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?"
"Good idea."
A week later, his mother called him to see how it went.
"I was totally humiliated," he groaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes."
"What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. "That's a wonderful gesture."
He replied, "But we hadn't started eating yet!"
The place to be happy is HERE and the time to be happy is NOW.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
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