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Elephant Jokes
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| posted by Gum Tree 1039 days ago |
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Just wondering if anyone remembers any of these .... speaking of crap jokes Mr B 
To start it off:
Why isn't it safe to walk in the jungle between 4 and 6 pm?
Coz that's when the elephants jump out of the trees.
Oooops - just remembered the next two in this series may be non-pc so won't continue.....
"Marooned on a rock with 80,000 and now 90,000 alcoholics and counting"
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| posted by Mr Benn 1039 days ago |
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Q. How do you get four elephants into a Mini car ??
A. Two in the front and two in the back !!
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| posted by westdoor 1039 days ago |
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Q: How do elephants hide in the jungle?
A: They paint their balls red and hide in the cherry trees.
I have a cunning plan ........
     
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| posted by westdoor 1039 days ago |
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Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Monkeys picking cherries.
I have a cunning plan ........
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming round the mountain?
A: "The elephants are coming round the mountain."
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming round the mountain who were wearing sunglasses?
A: He didn't say anything, he couldn't recognise them.
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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Q: Why did the elephant paint her toenails pink?
A: So that she could hide in the strawberry patch.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?
Response: No.
Works well then, doesn't it?
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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| posted by westdoor 1039 days ago (edited 1039 days ago) |
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The full version of Gum Trees first post
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:Because they jump out of trees.
Q:Why is it dangerous to go in the jungle between 2 and 4 a.m.?
A:Because that's when elephants jump out of trees.
Q:Why are pygmies so short?
A:Because they go in the jungle between 2 and 4 a.m.
I have a cunning plan ........
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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quote:
Originally posted by Mr Benn
Q. How do you get four elephants into a Mini car ??
A. Two in the front and two in the back !!
Q: What game do four elephants in a mini play?
A: Squash
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won't close.
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Big holes all over Australia.
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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| posted by westdoor 1039 days ago |
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Q: How do you get 2 whales in a mini?
A: Down the M4 and across the Severn Bridge
I have a cunning plan ........
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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Q: How do elephants talk to each other?
A: By 'elephone.
Q: What do elephants take when they get hysterical?
A: Trunkquilizers.
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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Q: Why do elephants travel in herds?
A: Because if they traveled in flocks, it would confuse the sheepdogs.
Q: Why do elephants walk on four feet?
A: Because if they flew, you could never keep your car clean.
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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| posted by The Cerne Abbas Giant 1039 days ago |
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Another version of one of Velvets...
Q. What did Tarzan say when he saw a the elephants coming round the mountain?
A. Swim for it!
Watchu talkin' about Willis?
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| posted by kamote 1039 days ago |
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huh?? 
The place to be happy is HERE and the time to be happy is NOW.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
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| posted by westdoor 1039 days ago |
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elephants "coming" - get it now?
I have a cunning plan ........
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| posted by The Cerne Abbas Giant 1039 days ago |
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Q. How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge?
A. Footprints in the butter.
Watchu talkin' about Willis?
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| posted by vendage 1039 days ago |
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calypso singing elephant? Harry Elephante (an old one).
Are you here as part of the problem, or part of the solution?
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| posted by Velvet 1039 days ago |
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arf arf arf. Who'd imagine that elephants could give us so much hilarity?
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
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