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Desparate for some help on sleeping problems
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| posted by Mighty 1161 days ago |
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My daughter is 18 months old and had been a very good sleeper so far. I established a routine for her from day one (we adopted her when she is 5 months old) and we (my husband, myself and my helper) followed it through, as a routine is very important to children. However, these past few weeks is a nightmare to me. She is so difficult to be put down (she sleeps in her room in her cot). The worst thing is she wakes up at night at about 1:00am crying and wl be awake for usually 2 hrs. I go into her room but without picking her up and tell her to go back to sleep. She listens but she just cldnt put herself back to sleep. I stay in the room with her without talking to her. Whenever she stands up in her cot, I wl tell her to go back to sleep in a very firm voice. I also tried the controlled crying but her crying is so loud that I m afraid the whole village will hear. What can I do next? How can I get rid of these disturbed nights? I have taken her to see the doctor just in case and she is fine. Any advice? Please help.
Mimu Lolo (^-^)
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| posted by barbie 1161 days ago |
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My thoughts are that if she is clearly disturbed and upset you should pick her up and cuddle her for 5 mins or so, dont take her out of the bedroom though.
When she has settled down tell her youre going to put her back to bed now. Have you tried her in a bed btw?
Be firm and tell her it's sleep time now. Does she have a little night light on?
Tell her if she's good and no fuss she can have the night light on.
Then I would leave the room but stand outside a while.
Is she having an afternoon nap? Maybe she doesnt need one anymore.
I wait for the day when schools have all the funding they need and the airforce has to have a cake stall to raise money for a new bomber.
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| posted by Gum Tree 1161 days ago |
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Aaahhh Mighty - how bad for you. It is such a difficult time and I think now that when the child is more "child" looking, rather than "baby" looking, it is somehow worse. You sort of feel that they "should" sleep through the night at that age.
Unfortunately, there really are no rules. Some kids sleep through the night from 8 weeks, some take until 3 or 4 years to do it. (btw, I have a 17 year old who can't sleep: fortunately, he doesn't cry when he can't, lol). We did all that stuff with our first born - controlled crying, cuddling, night light on, night light off, feed early, feed late, music, no music etc etc etc.
I think parents wear themselves out because of the "shoulds". The pressure of believing that these kids "need their sleep" is sometimes greater than the reality.
My suggestion? Do what you really, really want to do. If you want to cuddle a crying child, do it. If you want to ignore the crying child, do it. In the end, that child will eventually adapt to 'normal' sleeping patterns. All you have to do is make sure you are still feeling loving and sane by the time it happens.
My mum put me and my siblings out on the back porch in cots, once home from hospital. The rule then was 3 hourly feed for the first week, then 4 hourly etc. Babies were left to cry in between. Are we damaged by this???? I doubt it. I think the damage is more likely done to a parent who thinks they are "doing the wrong thing". So, just do what you believe is right for you. Babies will survive no matter what, so long as you love, feed and care for them. Adults suffer more imho.
"Marooned on a rock with 80,000 and now 90,000 alcoholics and counting"
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| posted by Mighty 1161 days ago |
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Tks for all the replies. I wl try to cut down her day time nap and see if that helps. I should have noticed that she has turned from a baby to a little person, shouldt I?!
Mimu Lolo (^-^)
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| posted by sabi 1161 days ago (edited 1161 days ago) |
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Mighty,
I am not a good role model but my 3 boys woke up at night (every 2-3 hours) so I just took them into my arms, gave them my breast and continued sleeping in my bed or sometimes in the rocking chair. All went well, I still did not get a full night's sleep but babies were happy...zzzzzz....and in the end, that's what matters.
Not the western way but it worked wonders - learnt a long time ago to just listen to myself and forget about others. Just do what you think is good for you and your baby. Good Luck.
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| posted by barbie 1161 days ago |
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Mighty, if you're still putting her down for an afternoon nap that could be where the problem lies!
Try to phase it out if you can.Maybe she is getting a little too much sleep and just isnt tired!
Good luck, let us know what's happening!
I wait for the day when schools have all the funding they need and the airforce has to have a cake stall to raise money for a new bomber.
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| posted by Gum Tree 1161 days ago |
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sabi - that is exactly what I did, tho only with first child, coz second was too active to settle to breast. It just seemed natural to me, and both children slept with us in our bed for the first couple of years or so. It seemed to me that by sleeping with us, they got some idea that nighttime was when you felt sleepy and comfortable and warm and safe. That was just instinct. But it meant I didn't have to wake up fully to deal with child, I could just soothe half-awake, half-asleep, so maybe I got some more sleep that others who have child in another room? Does that mean I am not western??????
"Marooned on a rock with 80,000 and now 90,000 alcoholics and counting"
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| posted by barbie 1161 days ago |
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Actually, many westerners do that GT. I don't know where the idea comes from that it isn't the 'western way'
I wait for the day when schools have all the funding they need and the airforce has to have a cake stall to raise money for a new bomber.
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| posted by chubby 1160 days ago |
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so GT you think that the baby sleeping with you is better than when she/he sleeps in the other room????Becuase I am planning to let me baby sleep in the other room....but I was been thinking all along..how come is he wakes up many times at night, then I have to get up as well????[V]
"honesty the best medicine..."HECK!!!
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| posted by Gum Tree 1160 days ago |
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Yes both babies slept with us for about 6 months - until they go too wriggly. I had both babies at home, so it started from day 1. They slept in the crook of my arm - when they woke up I would feed one side, both fall asleep, wake up - shift them to the other side, fall asleep and so on. I used "real" nappies and doubled them up with a couple of woolen nappy liners so usually didn't change them in the night.
But it all depends on you and the kids. Even if not in same bed, it is good to have them in the same room for those first few months and close by - that way you can do everything without really waking up, lol.
"Marooned on a rock with 80,000 and now 90,000 alcoholics and counting"
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| posted by carang 1160 days ago |
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my boy slept in my room in a bassinette beside the bed. i found it easier than getting up and down all night...he stayed there until 2 months old. then i moved him into his own room. he rarely has any problems sleeping, i'm a lucky one!
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| posted by chubby 1160 days ago |
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[:D]thats good for you carang. I am still hoping for the best about my baby, and preparing for the worst[^]
"honesty the best medicine..."HECK!!!
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| posted by sabi 1160 days ago |
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GT, Barbie,
Glad to hear that - it seems natural, but not so convenient sometimes for Mom and Dad's own time together.
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