Anyone tell jokes anymore?

[smiley]

Two dyslexic bank robbers men walk into HSBC shouting... “Air in the hands mother stickers this is a f**kup!”

[Shadowblade]

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Señor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.”

The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King of Beers,’ a Budweiser.”

The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He gets it.

The guy from Molson sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.”

The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Molson’s?”

The Molson president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”

[smiley]

Wayne Rooney goes to visited Fabrice Muamba in hospital.
'How is he?', he was asked afterwards
'He's great, he can almost string a sentence together,' says Muamba.

[smiley]

So, after the budget Vodkas £21.99 but im still gonna party like its £19.99

[smiley]

How do you get a big chick into bed?

Piece of cake.

[Paul Allen]

Originally Posted by smiley

Wayne Rooney goes to visited Fabrice Muamba in hospital.
'How is he?', he was asked afterwards
'He's great, he can almost string a sentence together,' says Muamba.

not too mention the odd hatrick eh???? I can smell the jealousy!!

[smiley]

My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it.
"Nice car," I said as he got out.
"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."